Toddlers are amazing little humans, they can say such funny things and can be so cute trying to do the same things we do.
But there’s also an ugly side to toddlers, temper tantrums. Tantrums aren’t fun at all, not for us, but also not for your toddler.
Toddlers have tantrums, and it’s all normal, but it’s definitely not fun.
It seems as if those tantrums always happen in the moments we least want them. You know, right before we need to leave? Or even worse, in the middle of the store, where we get stared at by all those strangers.
Still, they’re normal and we need to learn to deal with them.
Why do toddler get tantrums?
There are a lot of reasons for a toddler to get a tantrum , something might not work the way they want to. Or you’re saying no when they ask for a candy.
Tantrums are caused by big emotions, like anger or frustration. Your toddler is new to these emotions and doesn’t know how to deal with them, that’s something we need to learn them.
What to do when your toddler has a tantrum?
Temper tantrums are hard, both for you and for your sweet little toddler. I’m here to help you to get through them a little easier the next time.
If you follow these steps, I’m sure the next tantrum is going a little smoother.
1. Stay calm
This might be the hardest part, but also the most important one. You’re not going to be able to calm your toddler down if you’re not calm yourself.
Take a deep breath, count to 5 if necessary before you go on with the second step.
2. Keep them close
Keep your toddler close by and hug them if they allow it. Your toddler needs to know that you’re there for her, even during the hard times (especially during the hard times). Having these emotions isn’t fun, and knowing that mama is there for her is really important.
Think back at a moment that you felt bad, how would you want to be treated?
I wouldn’t want people to ignore me or tell me that my feelings aren’t okay to have, so don’t tell this to your toddler.
Empathize with your toddler and help her name the emotion she’s feeling right now. Learning emotions is important and it will help her in the future, you also show your toddler that you understand them. It’ll also help them to be able to express themselves better in the future.
“I see you’re angry, and that’s okay, we’re all angry sometimes.”
This already helps my daughter to stop screaming most of the times, she needs to feel understood and know that I’m there for her.
4. Don't give in
Empathizing with your toddler and letting them know that you understand why they’re feeling this way is great. This does however not mean that you’re going to give in. If you said no when she asked for a candy, it’s still a no, even though you understand that it makes her angry.
If you would give in, guess what’s going to happen the next time you say no? Another tantrum, and she’s probably not going to stop that easy this time.
Dealing with toddler tantrums isn’t fun, and can be really hard. But don’t ignore their feelings, and don’t punish them for having those feelings.
Staying calm and showing your toddler that it’s okay to have feelings and that crying is normal is the best we as parents can do.